acceptance

Thursday was Brynnes' last day of pre school..they had a little outdoor fun with water stations and then a class party...I knew the reality of it was coming, accepting her time to move forward to kindergarten..

You know your from California, when your preschooler is the ONLY one (out of 3 classes) rockin' a bikini....some things you just can't change...

 Brynne and Blair

 Brynne and Kambryn

 soaking each other...fun!!

 party time after all that fun outside!!

 Once they got done with the outdoor fun and eating, we went back to the class and saw part of what their typical day would be..they sang songs, did the calendar and days of the week. Counted and ABC's..they sand two of their favorite songs and danced....

 Brynne and Mrs. Heather.

So while we were watching this in the classroom, then there came the memory books. These books are made by the teacher and they are of various things that happened through out the year..and then there was a note. A note from Mrs. Heather, that I could barely see to read through the tears welling up in my eyes...I knew it would get harder as the day went on.

Acceptance.

We left and headed home. I was sad. All the weeks prior that I had counted down, not having to drive her all the way to Prosper for school, sitting in my car for hours a day in between picking up kids at 3 schools, all seemed to go away, I almost wanted it back...because I knew she'd still be small...young, at home with me two days a week....but I knew that was not going to happen.

I had started to look back on the last two years of our lives, moving here, moving to Florida and moving back. Leaving California, my family and my best friend ever, even thinking of "I probably should have had another baby when Brynne was 2", all of these things ran though my head...But then I realized also why I felt so bad.

I think I realized more than anything all the small things we miss, or don't give our all, because we are busy, we are running all over for sports and activities, cleaning house and all the things that take my time away from relishing in the moment of "my kids". I felt like a crappy parent..letting all this time go by, thinking of our old life, feeling like I was not the best parent I could be, even after Scott and I have talked tons of times about it, not living to the fullest, not living like we are promised a tomorrow....

While I LOVE living here...we had a great  life in California when our kids were younger..we took a lot of vacations, we spent a lot of time in Arizona on the lake...making memories with our friends, that were conveniently right next door, days of swimming and drinking wine in our cul de sac as our kids played well into the later part of a summer night...those times are gone. Our life is different now. Whether changes are made by choice or forced, I think both are hard to accept. I know we were meant to raise our kids here, in this place we call home, now. I do embrace that, it is just finding our way, making the connections and memories of our life now, that is harder said than done...

I also realize how very lucky I am. I have a friendship with Melissa, that some people never get in their lifetime. The distance has not changed us, we are still really close and I am grateful! I miss her a lot, and Scott reminds me that what I do have with her is very valuable, and to be happy that I have it. So instead of being sad about her and I not living in the same place, I need to accept the change and be happy that we are still "us". Going home in a few weeks will be hard, saying good bye is always the hardest, I keep waiting for it to get easier...but it doesn't.

Sweet Girl

 Let's just say the tassel was a huge distraction!!

 Mrs. Heather and Brynne

 Teachers a Big Thank You!!

 They sang Hosanna like Rock stars!

 Bella, Brynne and Scotty

 Brynne and Mommy

 Daddy

 My sweet friend Susan, snapped this for us....

 Sooo cute...Kambryn and Brynne, I hope she finds a sweet friend like this in kindergarten

 Pretty dresses...

So while this chapter of our lives has come to a close, and new ones are about to open, I am accepting that life is what you make it! I need to make more of mine..embrace more, love more, listen more, be funny more, and let the little things go...the unimportant ones!

Make it count!