Monday, August 15, 2011

another new first...

So today was the kids first day of school...and I thought about it, this is the 3rd school in 2 years...Scotty was crying from the minute he woke up, until we got to the gate...On the walk to school, I asked him what was wrong...
"I wanna go home, I wanna go back to Celina and go to school with my friends"
insert knife in heart of mom..considering the day I had yesterday....
I told him, "I want to go home too, but right now that is not an option..and that we had to make the best of it right now, while we are here."
That still did not make it any bit easier...
I did take a few pics this morning, as ALL of my kids went to school..But I will not post it, just because it is so obvious how sad Scotty is in them, and I don't want that as a reminder....

So for now, I am TRYING hard to keep busy..keep positive, remind myself that we ARE going home in a year or less...and there is no way WE want to raise our kids here...nope....

My mom left yesterday, and it was a very emotional time.. I think everything hit me, all the built up, held in feelings...I lost it later in the day. I could not contain myself from crying...and I finally said it aloud, to Scott..
"I am tired, tired of leaving my life behind me, tired of leaving houses and friends, I am just plain tired of saying good-bye to a life we created.."and I am still tired.....

So for now, again, I pray..lean on God in my times of worry and fear, knowing He will lead us back home, He will open the doors for us, and He will provide everything we need.

I don't want this to be a sad Monday..I baked brownies for my kids today for a first day treat, have been praying that the day goes better than I anticipated..and pray that tomorrow will be better than yesterday...

In His Grace,
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1 comment:

  1. Christina,

    I wish I could give you a big hug right now! I am praying for you and your family.
    Love,
    Jessica Thompson

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