Sunday, August 22, 2010

Relishing in our last weekend...

We have been up late all summer...sleeping in, and now it is about to be OVER...Life as we have grown to know, is all about to change! I am looking forward to the start of school, a routine, getting back to it! But with that new normal, also comes a new time for me..time that a house will be filled with silence, no bickering, no running wild, a different silence. With Brynne starting preschool, it is a moment, that I have not really thought about until now, that it is fast approaching....I asked myself, what am I going to do all day? i also asked Scott the same question...he reminded me that that will be a time to work on some things, that I have not gotten to enjoy lately..I offered help to both Bella and Scotty's teachers on those days, if they need it...and I already got asked by Bella's teacher to take the pictures of the kids on their first day...

We went to meet the teacher night, and I hear Scotty got a GREAT I am excited about that..Bella got a teacher who is new to the school, and she seems very nice as well. It is funny because along with the kids being new, I also feel it is like my first day at school too...we are new, again.

I know we will make friends, and probably friends that will last our life time..I think that is the only thing that keeps this from feeling like "home"..Our neighbors are Fabulous!! Anthony & JB, just normal and nice...her and I are alot alike, and it is just comfortable and pressure, no nerves, just "normal" and we are so grateful to have them, especially close out here in the "counrty".. We LOVE it here, sometimes I just feel a little lonely...But in my heart I know that will change..

It has been a rough couple weeks..I have been pretty emotional, about nothing it seems, none the less...EMOTIONAL. I think it is just "new" surroundings, new school, missing some friends, making new will all fall into place...

The other thing that gets me in a rut, we have not been to church for about 3 weeks, with Scott being gone for 2 of the 3 Sundays, and trying to get some things has taken the back burner..Which I should know by now, it HAS TO BE FIRST, He has to come seems like I go in spurts, and when we are in church and a part of it, taking it all in..I am good, because God is good. When we don't go as often as we should, I am not reading the bible, I am weak, I suffer, I feel uneasy...and that is not a good place for me, or our family. I have struggled a little with this whole thing. We did go this morning, and again I am uplifetd and refreshed! For me it is not a matter of believing, because I do, but because we were not raised in church, we did not grow up "knowing" god, I think it is a hard concept for me to grasp at times..I wonder, and over think so many things..that it puts me in a fog sometimes..and that comes from not being educated in the bible, the word of God...maybe feeling unsure, intimidated...which I should not be.. I ask myself a lot of questions...and because we are human, it is hard to grasp that we are loved NO MATTER WHAT...We are Forgiven, Loved...Always..There are many times times I feel undeserving of a love so perfect, and it takes some convincing to remind myself, that I DO, and I AM Worthy of His love.

I am a work in progress, I love going to church and hearing our pastor, I like that our church is small, I love the music in our worship service, it is great! I just need to work harder on my personal relationship with God, bringing his word closer to my heart, taking the time to read and learn more..and moving and new surroundings, it takes time, and patience...I have a lot of time, but am working on the patience thing!!

have a blessed day, however you spend ready for tomorrow, and the joys it will bring!
Big Hugs!

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